OrgiaNaLanHouse commented on Put your questions here so Reptiliandude can find them! reddit
Thanks for answering.
About the "non-functional losers" you like so much to bash: I am one of those. Also, I'm a gamer, weeaboo and all other things that can be included on 2017's newest degenerate loser expert pack PRO (not Premium because I'm not a brony/feminist/etc).
The question is: What can I even do about that? I've been unemployed for 2 months already and before that I worked for a full year. Even when I was employed I was unable to form any friendship, get a gf or do anything worthy with my life; in fact, I kinda became a little misanthropic because of all the backstabbing and gossip in the work environment. Shit work environment and depression due to loneliness and failure to achieve the kind of life I thought I would achieve when I got a job(imbecile me thought I would get a gf if I had money; imbecile me thought I would get friends) made me make one of the worst decisions of my life: quitting my job during a nervous breakdown.
Every single day I wake up feeling like total shit for being unproductive. I can't even sleep well at night due to the sadness I feel for being the failure I am. Every day, I try to be at least a little productive: I will draw; I will study chemistry/math/physics; I will try to learn 3d modeling; and other things, but rarely I will do any of those things for more than 1 hour because of the complete compulsive and unmotivated procrastinator I am. To make things worse, my country is in recession and to get a job it's not as simple trying to get one.
I am almost 20 years old I've never kissed a girl; hell, I've never even touched one in a romantic way in my life. I only have one friend that comes here in my house like once per week but he only does so because he has nothing to do. I almost cry if I see the image of a pretty girl anywhere on the internet; hell, this even applies to 2d girls as I've stopped watching anime and playing some kind of games because even seeing a fucking 2d girl will make me feel like total shit. I sleep once every 36 hours because I need to get really sleepy before going to bed; if I try otherwise then I have to lie on my bed for hours suffering.
The truth is that I only want to get a job, graduate, have a family; I want to live the dream. But due to my lack of experience/will/confidence/discipline, my mental state and some external factors, looks like I'm bound to spend the rest of my life channeling my sadness in form of hate to myself or online in subs like /r/Incels.
The point is, I'm not part of a group of super villains that are trying to change the world to my own twsited preferences; I'm just a non-functional pleb crawling over the earth. I'm also really, really jealous of functional people and in no way in hell I would willingly choose to be in the situation I am now. What can I do? How do I go against my natural tendencies? What your society does to people like me? I know about that event where women go crazy and kill the sociopath boys, but, what about the morally "good" losers?
Sorry for making you read all of this shit. Just trying to be the devil's advocate while also venting.
OrgiaNaLanHouse commented on Put your questions here so Reptiliandude can find them! reddit
I appreciate you effort on trying to help me and thanks for that. While those are indeed solid advice, some of them are only applicable to certain persons living on certain places, on certain conditions. Example: the place I live looks more like a fallout wasteland than a real city; I would have to travel 500kms to get to the nearest zoo. Living on a developing country, the women here put a lot of importance on money, so, if you are a man and you're not part of a gang or receive less than twice the minimum wage and are not a pro womanizer, you can just forget about having a stable relationship.
It's all my fault though as I've failed to adapt to the environment. My computer screen is my escapism; the most pleasurable and yet most painful thing in my life; it's my opium.